Getting Away

Miss Malsy on Manners
This spring, my fiancée and I are taking an around-the world honeymoon. My
one concern: She loves public displays of affection. Will we offend people
in other countries?

First off, congratulations on your impending nuptials — and for recognizing that not everyone wants to watch you put the lust back in wanderlust. Let this same impulse guide your actions abroad. Shoot for “aw shucks” instead of “shock and awe,” and most people will find you romantic rather than revolting.

That said, acceptance of PDA depends on the destination. In Europe, you’ll find attitudes similar to America’s, with churches and memorials being obvious no-grope zones. In Latin America, context is everything: Hands-on may be kosher in a Rio nightclub, while hands-off is the rule in Mexico’s rural villages. In parts of Africa and the Middle East, the culture shock — and stakes — is more extreme: In India, public kissing can mean jail time, while in Saudi Arabia, canoodling couples may be flogged.

Given these consequences, it pays to do your homework. Research your destinations, then have a heart-to-heart with your fiancée. Emphasize how much you appreciate her enthusiasm — and how little you want to spend time in a Pakistani prison.

Still, it takes two to not tango. If your wife can’t ignore the catnip effect of a Venetian gondola ride, you may literally find yourself with your hands full. In which case I have three words: Get a room.

— Kristina Malsberger