Miss Malsy on Manners

Q: On a recent trip to Carmel, our friends chose very expensive entrees and wine at dinner while my wife and I ordered more modestly. When the bill came, they paid only half. Is it rude to suggest a more fair split?

A: Argue about the check or turn the other cheek — it’s a dilemma that’s caused plenty of heartburn among friends. In an ideal world, those with pricier palates would simply offer to pay more. In reality, diners who order light — vegetarians, nondrinkers, supermodels — often end up bankrolling someone else’s buffet.

If we were talking a couple of appetizers or an extra round of drinks, I’d say zip it and split it. These are friends here, and a certain amount of smiling and shrugging is what keeps such relationships running smoothly. But if the difference in dinners is dramatic — and chronic — the extra bucks need to stop here.

The easiest solution: Grab the check as it hits the table, scan the sums and announce, “I think we’re in for $55” — code for “Hey, guys, let’s itemize.” If your companions still don’t take the hint? Make sure the waiter has cleared the steak knives, then speak up.
Unless you’re okay with double dates at McDonald’s, it’s the only way to deal with a couple whose eyes are bigger than your wallet.

— Kristina Malsberger
Have a travel etiquette question? Send it to Miss Malsy at highroads@arizona.aaa.com.